jimromefandomcom-20200213-history
Smack-Off 1998
The Fourth-Annual Smack-Off, also known as Smack-Off 1998, is the fourth iteration of the Smack-Off, taking place on April 10, 1998. A total of 29 callers made it to air, with a record eight being run. Jim Harbaugh would have made it nine, but Rome was not about to run a pro football player. The competition was won by Steve Carbone, a.k.a. Phoneslap, formerly Stevie from Loyola Marymount. The ninth segment has the distinction of being one of the worst segments in Smack-Off history, with three callers being run. Smack-Off 1998 was sponsored by Blimpie. It is available currently for listening to Jim Rome Streamlink customers. This year was the first year that the effect of initial syndication became noticeable, as four Clones outside of California made the top ten, including future four-time winner Sean the Cablinasian. Hour-by-hour breakdown *First Hour (Segments 1-4): Seven callers, two Top Tens, two runs *Second Hour (Segments 5-8): Six callers, four Top Tens, zero runs *Third Hour (Segments 9-12): Twelve callers, one top ten, five runs *Fourth Hour (Segments 13-16): Four callers, three top tens, one run Top 10 Callers #'Steve Carbone' - Fifteenth segment. He simply put down all the clones, which as Phoneslap he has to deal with every day, and said, "I am not a *bleep* clone!" #'Iafrate' - Thirteenth segment. He is tired of The Last Word, and Wally's stupid take on the NCAA Tournament. He hit on the also-rans who would make him look good, and said that people who missed the first three hours missed nothing. He hit heavily on "non-sports" on ESPN, bowling, the Chiefs, and compared himself to Marty Schottenheimer. He says he should win because he is the long-lost DiTolla brother, a crack on rumors of favoritism toward the Brothers DiTolla in the Jungle. #'Gino in San Antonio' - Second caller in second segment. Pause and reflection on the year in Smack, and said that it's unfortunate that people will forget half the stuff that happened this year, including Latrell Sprewell. Didn't know what was up with Karl Malone hacking a bunch of other players on the court. Said Michelle Kwan needed Jeff Gilooly. Hated on the syndicated Clones, and also hated on Phoneslap. Called the Clones on Smack Chat the worst of all the Clones. #'Sean the Cablinasian' - First caller in sixth segment. The Jungle is like school, as he smacked Utah and Jay in Y-Town. Coined "dreaded myopia", smacking Robert Parish and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. He was angry that he hadn't gotten a W-2 yet from Premier, but was in the Jungle for the love of the game. Got tired of people who were angry at athletes who made mad money, but kept buying tickets to pay for them. #'Doc Mike DiTolla' - Second caller in fourteenth segment. Initially got disconnected, but came right back. He went off on Jim Harbaugh. He smacked briefly on Eric Karros, who gives Doc Mike tickets for Dodger games. He hit as well on Henry from the A-T-L for making issue of his intelligence, and turned against the South in general, and Bud Light's egg commercials. Also took out NFL Europe. His Doc Mike 40-Star Pick was Viagra, smacking the Clones and suggesting they all needed it. He last hit on Bobby in Brooklyn, saying he didn't dream of becoming a dentist; he did it because it gives him the opportunity to have a great family life and lots of time off. #'Kerwin in Riverside' - Second call in seventh segment. Has been waiting all year for the Smack-Off, and thought there were counterfeit invites the previous Smack-Off, hating on the DiTolla brothers. He suggested that some shouldn't bother calling during the Smack-Off. Was proud of being a Black Clone, and made an oblique crack at racists, including Fuzzy Zoeller and Reggie White. Smacked on Miller Light's "Dick" commercials. Said Al Davis was dead like "Weekend at Bernie's". #'Lisa in Green Bay' - Fifth segment. Smacked on Reggie White's perceived racism. Hit on Quinn the Carfixer as well, and said that he tried to call her at her home. Wondered if rednecks were born or made, and made more smack on them for most of the call. She then smacked on Harry Caray to finish off, saying that "respect for the dead" shouldn't apply to him. #'Jeffrey E. DiTolla, Esq.' - First caller of eleventh segment. He apologized for getting run the previous year. He said the problem with the Jungle today wasn't expansion but the addition of the toll-free number. He smacked heavily on Phoneslap, suggesting he was not a Clone but was even worse. He didn't consider baseball or golf sports, particularly the PGA over Casey Martin. He also piled on Dodger fans on Mike Piazza, and on Orel Herschiser in San Francisco. #'Bobby in Brooklyn' - Eighth segment. Said the Jungle was now the "concrete jungle" with the new Syndication era, and sought to "save" the Clones. Smacked on Jim Harbaugh, Reggie White, Earl "Gravy Train" Woods, NHL executives changing the rules at the drop of a hat, Sally Struthers and Dr. Laura. #'Terrence in Sierra Madre' - First caller in fourth segment. Moment of silence for John in Syracuse, and claimed he wouldn't choreograph his call. He smacked on women's basketball, Huntsville (comparing it to Paris's negative points), Fuzzy Zoeller and Eddie Jones. He then faked his own running. Other callers to be racked In order of appearance... *'Jeff in Phoenix' - Second caller, first segment, right after John in Syracuse. Called Quinn the Carfixer a gravy-trainer. Smacked on Gino in San Antonio. Called the Jungle "Aesop's Fables". Smacked on George Michael and Marv Albert for their sexual misadventures. *'Dodger/Raider Mike' - First caller in second segment. Said he was leaving L.A. Was dizzy about talking about the Raiders. Called the second-stringer for the Broncos too young. Was mixed up about the Dodgers and the fans becoming soft and hating on Mike Piazza. Gave his thanks to Jim Rome for everything that the show's given to him. Was moving to Dallas. *'Dean in Huntington Beach' - Third segment. Said he didn't have to pretend to have a sports take to get on the air. Didn't plan to be sage-like about the year in sports. He called his idea a miracle; he hit on Manny in Oxnard for half his take, in retaliation for Manny's hits on him headed into the Smack-Off. He was down with Phoneslap, but still blamed him for the "worst segment in Jungle history" by offering Diff'rent Strokes and Facts of Life rememberances. Finished by "apologizing" to Gino for last year. *'Boston Phinn in L.A.' - Second caller in sixth segment. Blessed the U.S.A. while suggesting that his ancestors imagined that American sports would be exactly as they all. Had "God Bless America" playing in the background. *'Jonathan in Syracuse' - First caller in seventh segment. Smacked on Terrence and the Cablinasian really quick, and immediately went into Golf, smacking on the LPGA. Said women's golf was "frightening", and women's sports in general sucked. Was angry at the denial of instant replay, comparing missed calls to conspiracy theories. Smacked on Greg Townshend. *'Julie in Portland' - Second caller in ninth segment. Started by smacking on John in Syracuse (probably meant Jonathan) and Michael Jordan regarding chauvinism. Also smacked on Ahmad Rashad and all NBA commentators drooling over Jordan's retirement run. Kept it short and sweet. *'Greg in Vegas' - First caller in tenth segment. Started with Charles Barkley, Dodger fans booing Mike Piazza, David Aldridge, and the Premier ad sales team. His biggest problem was with New York City, where the show isn't listened to yet. He said he planned to become the Roberto Clemente of Smack, and pretended to get electrocuted in Florida's Old Sparky. *'Manny in Oxnard' - Second caller in tenth segment. Said Dean in HB took the bait. Smacked on Reggie White and Reggie Jackson, Marv Albert, Mo Vaughn, boxers, and Del Harris. *'Silk in Huntington Beach' - Second caller in eleventh segment. He smacked on Boston and Efrem, and said it was a beautiful day for the Smack-Off. He also piled onto No Cal and Eddie DeBartolo. He got tired of "toilet-talk" smack and trying to be funny in the Jungle. He talked about being down with the legends. *'Jim Harbaugh' - First segment in twelfth segment. In a word, he sucked. He had no smack, and admitted it from the start. Fortunately, it was short. Rome later said he would have been run if he weren't a professional football player. *'Scott in Hollywood' - Third caller in twelfth segment. He piled onto Jim Harbaugh and John in Syracuse, saying the three people in Syracuse were the same guy. Smacked on bullriders wearing Wranglers, Patrick Roy, and everyone emphasizing the "Black" head coach at NCAA Men's Basketball champ Kentucky. Callers that were run In order of appearance... *'John in Syracuse' - First caller of the Smack-Off. He called the Smack-Off a genius concept. Called Jim Harbaugh "concussion boy". Called "Salt Lick" clones "stupid". Broke up on a drunk driving take and was run for tripping up due to nerves. Rome explained that the Smack-Off can be a very nerve-racking experience, and that John usually never flames. *'Pointdexter in H-Town' - Second caller in fourth segment. Will pray for people who don't know what "John 3:16" means. Explained to Clones who "suck" what a take is, but it didn't have enough smack, so he was run. *'Efrem in Long Beach' - First caller in ninth segment. Started with Latrell Sprewell, connecting him to O.J., and talked on Jevon Kearse and UCLA Football, and the Spurs. He gave kudos to his Denver Broncos for finally winning a Super Bowl. He was run for getting a bit too personal concerning the ongoing Clinton sex scandal, and cursing a bit too often. *'Gabe in Stockton' - Third caller in ninth segment. Jumped on Dodger fans for booing Mike Piazza, but rambled on it and was run. *'Aaron in Boise' - Fourth caller in ninth segment. Went to "guidelines for calling on the Smack-Off", but when he said he shouldn't call because he's a fax legend and not a phone legend, he was run. Rome agreed with Aaron's realization. *'Irie Craig' - Second caller in twelfth segment. As Dodger rep, he smacked the fans about Mike Piazza, and the front office for screwing with him in favor of other players that turned out gimpy. He was run for obsessing about the same topic during his entire take. *'Pete in Anchorage' - Fourth caller in twelfth segment. Got some smack on baseball's ugly players, but was run just for being from Anchorage. *'Trapper in Dana Point' - First caller in fourteenth segment. Hit on Irie Craig and Iafrate. He mentioned calling after getting hit by a car. He was run because he didn't have the energy for the final hour.